JERRY SZOKA OPENS NEW CLUB & RESTAURANT as read by MISS CLEO

Yes it's true, it's Miss Cleo the Jamaican Goddess here for a good reading. I predicted a new club opening and as usual I was right. I had to make my way over to Club 34 and see what the buzz I was hearing was all about.

Just down the street from The Grid & Leather Stallion at E34th & St Clair I found Club 34 neatly tucked away behind the Tin Fu Chinese Restaurant. Approaching the entrance, the automatic doors open and you are greeted by two miniature solid Jade lions (impressive). I was then greeted by a door man who had the nerve to ask me, Miss Cleo, for my I.D. "I never show my I.D to anyone" I said as I am ageless and beautiful. Ask me again, I will give you a reading you'll never forget, and it will cost you a lot more than $3.99 a minute. He said it was the law that he had to see it and being the law abiding citizen I am, I obliged but reminded him that revealing my age would open him up to a spell I would cast upon him that would make Martha Stewart wish she had a longer sentence. He quickly changed his tune, and I proceeded in.

I made my way past the two large Chinese Soldiers standing guard, to the bar with beautiful built-in fish tanks, to get my energy boost in the form of a very, very, tumble weed Dry Martini and was served by a tall dark & delicious bartender that I should have seen coming in one of my predictions. Eh, can't win em all honey. I asked when the club opened, and was told it hasn't officially opened as this is just a soft opening giving the public a chance to see the changes being made from week to week.. Seemed a novel idea to me.

I decided I wanted to know who the owner was and get the real buzz. I was greeted by a familiar face, Jerry Szoka. Although, he does not know I am Miss Cleo, I asked him why he was doing another club and thought he was the owner of The Grid? He said while he is still part owner, conditions as they are, he was not able to

provide the level of entertainment and high standards of overall performance the community has come to expect from him and his club and had to open a new venue. I asked for more details but he politely declined. I predict another story coming.......boy & girlz.......................

He then gave me a tour of the place and I have to say, I was impressed (and that ain't easy as I've seen it all).We began at the dance floor which can be seen from everywhere in the club as can the two huge 16' (foot ea) tv screens outlining the rear of the dance floor. (Where's my porn honey). The light show is mesmerizing with the intelligent lighting and being an old school kinda gal, I appreciated the mirror ball cluster in the dance floor center. The music with it's intense bass and crisp sound was a refreshing change from the usual run of the mill I hear elsewhere. The dance floor has a large staging area for the upcoming entertainment he's booking, with beautiful curtains that will be hung before Grand Opening and a nicely laid out dressing room for performers. I asked if he was doing drag shows. Jerry said he was going the put the emphases on SHOW and not drag. He wanted entertainment he brings in to be a show. Anyone can do drag, he says, but he wants a production. Something not offered elsewhere.

Then it was onto the large lounge room just off the dance floor designed for taking that special someone to get away from it all in an intimate setting with a scattering of couches, chairs and tables, soon to be open. I asked about the cover charge since there was not one when I entered. I'm told the cover starts after grand opening and will be a modest $3.00 till 2 am then $5.00 after as he is bringing back after hours dancing, something he is known for, going till at least 4 am.

He says that he is making the club available to promoters too. Fridays I'm told, have been contracted with a Latin

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promoter who is well known within Clevelands large Spanish community. (Guess where Miss Cleo will be on Fridays.... hello amigo. Love those straight Latin boys) and is in talks with others. Saturdays, he says will be the main club night we are most familiar with as Jerry Szoka aka DJ Spincycle, will be spinning as he puts it, "MUSIC THAT'S FUN & YOU CAN SING ALONG WITH" and after hours changing the style to the more serious CLUB DUB SOUNDS. "There's nothing more irritating than a DJ that talks on the mic and doesn't understand how to program music creating more of a BUZZ KILL than a good buzz" he told me. Guest dj's are also on the ballot.

Jerry says "The place will be a cross between the old Cage and the old Grid so many had come to cherish”. “I've had countless people tell me that while they like the new Grid, they liked the old Grid better, so I listened and did something about it. 100 people in a large club looks dead, while 100 in my club as that say is, ball to butts”. I want a warm comfortable feeling in my club and not the cold corporate give me your money and get out feeling so many of todays clubs subscribe to". From the looks of it Miss Cleo thinks he's gonna do it and can't wait!

I thought the tour was over until he took me into the restaurant. The Tin Fu Restaurant is connected to the club. Naturally Miss Cleo had to sample the cuisine, and it was spectacular. He tells me he's changing the name to Cafe’34, making changes to the menu by adding more American favorites. Also adjusting the hours to accommodate more of todays busy lifestyles by staying open till midnight during the week. On the weekends, open till the wee hours of the morning for the hungry Downtown club goers and late night snack hunters.(goodbye Diana's). Additionally, he'll be giving the decor a Fab 5 review without abandoning the Authentic Chinese (imported I'm told)

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offerings. The pricing will be very accommodating as well. “ I LISTEN TO PEOPLE" he says. “I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS, SO I ASK THEM WHAT THEY WANT TO MAKE THEIR EXPERIENCE MORE ENJOYABLE AND I MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES TO ACCOMMODATE THEM.

IT'S LIKE A FINE WINE, TAKING CARE, NURTUR-

ING AND TIME TO CREATE SOMETHING THAT GETS BETTER WITH TIME. I AM HERE TO SERVE AND MAKE THE EXPERIENCE HERE UNFORGETTABLE. I AM INSTALLING A WIRELESS NETWORK FOR COMPUTER SAVVY USERS TO GET ON THE NET WHILE ENJOYING A MEAL. JUST ONE OF THE IDEAS PRESENTED TO ME" he says. Humm, I wonder if he'll let me interview the strippers he says he's bringing in from out of town?...wink!

Jerry said the lot directly across from Club 34 on 34th Street is his and he has access to the lot directly across St Clair as well, all free parking. (Miss Cleo likes FREE)

I thanked him for his hospitality and preceded back to refilling my Very, Very, sand in my drink, Dry Martini and looking for Mr. Right, at least for the night.

So boyz & girlz, I have to say that Jerry Szoka has done it again. He has covered all his bases in his latest offering to Cleveland in trying to accommodate us and are very discriminating tastes. Especially when Cleveland has had the dubious title bestowed upon it of being dubbed the most economically depressed city in the nation. While many have fled our fine city for greener pastures, Jerry Szoka has stayed to fight and help keep this city alive. I predict a successful future for him and this challenging adventure and pledge my support. Hats off to Jerry for taking the risks needed to bring us a comfortable place to eat, dance and WY-FI the net.

That concludes this reading from MISS CLEO and you didn't even have to pay $3.99 per minute.....this time!

Tootles!

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